Thursday, September 11, 2008

Me, Erin Brockovich, and the Importance of Reading the Fine Print

One of the niceties of living in both the dawnings of the 21st century and the age of Aquarius is that I can write my own editorials, post them on the internet for the world to see, and still delude myself than anyone else cares. I mean, look at those poor folks who painted pictures of horses and cows in the Lascaux Caves in southern France. If they knew their work would lie unseen for 16,000 years, until four teenagers and a dog named 'Robot' stumbled over them in 1940, would they have gone to all that effort?

Early Blogger, complaining of the low MPB
(miles per bushel of grain) for many SUFs
(suburban utility farm animals)

Fortunately for me, my ghost will not have to wait so long for me to be discovered. The good news is that one of my previous posts, 'Desperately Seeking Sarah' (which attacked Governor Palin for avoiding press interviews), drew the attention of a real, live famous person: Erin Brockovich. Be still my beating heart! Now here's the bad news. This is what Ms. Brokovich had to say about my post:

I am still Me

A recent blog post touched on a topic which gets me all worked up.

"America is in love--again. Remember how we loved Vivian Ward, the pretty woman in Pretty Woman? And who could forget Maggie Carpenter, the runaway bride in Runaway Bride? Or Tess Ocean, the twelfth ocean in Ocean's Twelve? But then there's my personal favorite: Erin Brockovich, who was Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich."

People keep confusing Julia/Erin. That's the first time I've ever seen "Erin who was Erin in Erin..." Excuse me, but there IS an actress in there somewhere. Doesn't an actor have to play a character for 30 years (like Captain Kangaroo) to become such an icon that they become their character?

My name is Governor
Sarah Palin . . .

And--Excuse me!--I'm not fiction. I exist. Julia can't be me because I am me.

"America is in love--again. Remember how we loved.....But then there's my personal favorite: Erin Brockovich, who was Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich." What is that sentence even supposed to mean? I had to look up all of those roles...

Vivian Ward, (Pretty Woman)
Maggie Carpenter, (Runaway Bride)
Tess Ocean, (Ocean's Twelve)
Erin Brockovich, (Erin Brockovich)

... to figure out that ALL of them are Julia Roberts. Maybe they can do a movie about Julia Roberts's life and I can play
Julia. Then someone can write an erroneous blog ostensibly about me, that says "Julia Roberts, who was Julia Roberts in Julia Roberts."

That would really confuse them.

MY name is Governor Sarah
Palin . . .

by Ms. Erin Brockovich, September 10 2008, on 'The Brokovich Report' (

* * * * * * * * * * *

Umm.....Well....You see, Ms. Brockovich, the point I was trying to make is that just as some people confuse actors and the different roles they play, I feel that many people are confusing the real Governor Palin with the 'role' she is playing. That is why (in part) I selected four different roles played by the same actress. The line about '. . . Erin Brockovich, who was Erin Brockovich in Erin Brockovich' was to emphasize how silly it is to confuse actors and real people.

But how can you tell the difference between Ms. Julia Roberts and Ms. Erin Brokovich? How to tell who is the REAL consumer advocate? Not by how well they read off a teleprompter, or deliver prepared speeches at orchestrated photo opportunities. To tell the truth, the only way to know who's the real McCoy is by having both of them face the nation on Face the Nation or meet the press on Meet the Press. That is why I drafted those questions: someone needs to ask the hard questions in an effort to sort out the vague generalities from the distortions from the flat out lies Governor Palin enjoys parroting. The role of the press is to split the actor from the role, and give voters a picture of the real Sarah Palin--as opposed to Sarah Palin, star of GOP produced stage & screen roles.

I'm not the only one who thinks thusly about Governor Palin. Completely independent of me, New York Times columnist Ms. Maureen Dowd wrote a similar article, also complete with a list of sample questions ('My Fair Veep,' Sept. 9 2008. Available at
Can Charles Gibson play Charlton Heston playing Moses, divide the Republican Red Spin from the person, and lead the Children of Israel--or at least the forty percent or so of registered voters who will vote--out of our intellectual captivity by Pharaoh Image Consultants?

We'll have to see Thursday night.

In the meantime---don't forget the fine print.

My NAME is Governor Sarah Palin!
Looks like this is a job for Bill
Cullen, Kitty Carlisle, Peggy Cass,
and Charles Gibson

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