Dept. of Not Wanting to Belong to any Club that Would Have Someone Like Me as a Member. . .

Tim of Tim and Trevor Christian. They're on a mission from god to warn all playa haters of the pending apocalypse.

NOTE: While pretty much everything I write and think is bitter and hate-filled, this one promises to be especially brutal. Carbon based life forms are strongly cautioned, and urged to go read something nicer…like maybe the “Love Is . . .” cartoons or theNancy comic strip…..but for more on Tim and Trevor Christian, and their boycott of the Bill Maher film Religulous, go to The Rapture Right.

Well, I got kicked out of another place again. Where it was is not important. What is important is that I am embarrassed that I was not able to explain clearly enough (apparently) that the sick and twisted irrational hatred I feel for Clarence Thomas is personal, and not because of his race. I mean, come on! Lots of people hate on Clarence Thomas, because there’s so much there to be hating on.

Uncle Ruckus, from the comic strip "The
Boondocks."

This all began when I wrote something snide about Clarence, and someone who will go nameless (mainly because I now hate that person too) took me to task, asserting that people who were critical of President Obama said something similar, because people who say things like that (ie you and those people) hate African Americans. Well, not being the sharpest bulb in the bulb drawer, it took me a couple of minutes to figure out that I had just been insulted. So, I wrote back, explaining why I despised Clarence Thomas, mentioned a few books I had read, and insisted there was plenty about Clarence for player haters of all stripes.

I may have said something especially pointed about Clarence Thomas in that second go round—it may have been that I said that I thought Clarence is a “lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard--not to mention immoral,” but I’m not sure. I know I said that in the third go round. But I can’t remember if I amped it that much in the second. If I didn’t, I’m sure I meant to, and it was just an oversight on my part. Well, my nemesis AGAIN reminded what people said about “a black man” becoming president, and how it was irresponsible and racially insensitive for me to use such language in regards to Clarence Thomas. 

"Justice" Clarence Thomas--oh wait. Am I
getting mixed up again?

By now, I’m on my fourth return of this particular volley, and I'm pretty steamed. So, I answered the charge that using bad language (like calling a sitting US Supreme Court Justice a “lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard—not to mention immoral”) is bad, by asking “Even if he IS a lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard--not to mention immoral? I ask for information purposes only.” Cf Cohen v. California, 403 US 15 (1971) (Harlan, J.) (“Fuck the Draft” is protected speech, as “One man’s (sic) vulgarity is another’s lyric”). In the same post, I also used the phrase “lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard—not to mention immoral” three times in one sentence. And it went downhill from there—mainly because I can be a pretty lyrical guy.

And that, sports fans, is when I got sent home with the note “Does not play well with others.”

What does all this mean--besides the fact I hate Clarence Thomas. I do and that's great... But why do I really hate the guy? I mean BESIDES the fact he’s a lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard--not to mention immoral. Well, all you kids out there probably don't remember, but back in the day, during Clarence’s confirmation hearings, Clarence insisted that he had no opinion on anything at any time, never discussed Roe v. Wade or what qualified as a fundamental right under the constitution with anyone ever, had a great grandfather, and would never forget his roots (to coin a phrase) once he was on the Supreme Court. An angry John Lewis (D. fifth district, Ga) responded to this crap that he (Lewis) also had a hell of grandfather, but that didn’t make Lewis qualified to sit on the Supreme Court. Clarence didn’t care, and apparently, neither did the Senate--so Clarence was well on his way to confirmation.

Then, National Public Radio’s Nina Totenberg flashed a story about one Anita Hill, and how when both Clarence and Ms. Hill worked at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, Clarence sexually harassed her. Senator Joe Biden, head of the Judiciary Committee, then held a bizarre circus (and I do mean "circus," not series) of hearings on October 11, 12, and 13 1991, where Clarence was allowed to say pretty much whatever he wanted, including that he (Clarence) was the victim of a “high tech lynching.” 

Jackie Gleason as Minnesota Fats. "No Clarence--not THAT kind of 'Hustler'!"

Clarence still was able to get his confirmation, and has gone on to be a complete embarrassment not only to his grandfather’s memory—but to all carbon based life forms in general. But Clarence does have one saving grace: he’s stupid and lazy. 

How did I come to this opinion? Well, there’s The Complete Transcripts of the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill Hearings, Jane Mayer and Jill Abramson’s “Strange Justice,” an excellent collection of essays edited by Toni Morrison “Race-ing Justice, En-gender-ing Power,” and Ms. Hill’s own book “Speaking Truth to Power.” Not to mention Clarence’s on going insistence that he can’t find a right to privacy in the constitution (maybe under the couch, but he’s not sure).

In a word: the guy’s a dick, and that’s why I hate him. But do I hate him, wholly independent of race? No. I am one of those liberals who thinks that race will always be a factor anytime anywhere. Is part of the extreme contempt I have for Clarence Thomas due to the fact Clarence is an African American? Yes, and here's why. First, Clarence claims to have been a lifelong opponent of affirmative action. Which is fine—lots of people hate affirmative action. However, those people generally are not working at the EEOC, ENFORCING affirmative action regulations—not to mention, the fact that Clarence would never have been admitted to Yale Law School BUT FOR the affirmative action program that Yale had at the time (but no longer). What is wrong with this picture?

Second, Clarence was an asshole to a large number of women (at the EEOC none the less). When he got taken to task, his response was to play the race card, and claim he was the victim of a "high tech lynching"--his phrase. What? As opposed to the “low tech” lynchings of Emmett Till, Medgar Evers, James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, Michael Schwerner, Viola Liuzzo etc etc? Even if Clarence was right (and he wasn’t) that he (Clarence) was the victim of the Unrepresentative Eastern Liberal Media Establishment (the UELME), how could he have the audacity to equate that (on any level) with the brutal murders of civil rights workers?

Finally, Clarence swore in his confirmation hearings that not only did he have no opinion on anything whatsoever, he would also be sure to remember the poor and opposed—just like his Grandfather taught him. Too bad in Clarence’s mind that means standing next to the electric chair and yelling “Hit ‘em again warden! He’s still twitching!” And for anyone who doubts that Clarence is any less the twisted, bitter little jerk who sees himself as the victim of all, here’s Marie Cocco review of Clarence’s little book. And I had forgotten what the New York Times editorial board had to say about Clarence, calling him The Angriest Justice.

So—I hate Clarence Thomas. Do I hate him because he is African American? No. It’s personal when I call him a lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard--not to mention immoral. But why can’t I explain that? How can I make myself clearer? I was humiliated.

But then, a secular humanist angel comes to me, and says “Bill baby—they think you have an unreasoning hated towards African Americans. You know that’s not true. You have an unreasoning hatred towards all kinds of people….You hate everything!” The clouds broke, the sun shone through, I put on the Grateful Dead tune “Touch of Grey,” and started to draw up a list of people I hate on because they too are lying hypocritical fucking sons of a bitch bastards--not to mention immoral cf Huey Freeman’s “Hate Book,” The Boondocks. It’s morning in Amerika (to coin a phrase).

Zell Miller. I'd say something nasty here, 
but I just can't think of anything--though
I do hate the guy.

A. Zell Miller

An easy choice, because everyone hates this former Senator from Georgia. Miller, a “Democrat” (not unlike the “froot” in “Froot Loops”) was known for his close working relationship with fellow Senator Saxby Chambliss, after Chambliss defeated incumbent Max Cleland. Miller (apparently) was untroubled by Chambliss’s persistent attacks on Senator Cleland’s patriotism—despite Cleland having left three of his four limbs in Vietnam while serving in the military. Miller later volunteered to be a keynote speaker at the 2004 GOP Convention (one of the sleaziest ever), and then went on to famously challenge Chris Mathews to a duel when Miller appeared on the show Hard Ball.

Diana Dors. She has nothing to so with 
this hissy fit, but if you're going to complain
like I am, you better have at least one
person show up in opera gloves.

B. Orin Hatch

Another obvious choice. Hatch made a name for himself by doing everything humanly possible to block any judicial nomination President Clinton even considered—only to take extreme offense later when anyone objected to the woefully unqualified partisan hacks George W. Bush tried to stick on the federal bench. During the Clarence Thomas hearings, Hatch also claimed he discovered the “source” of Ms. Hill’s allegations of sexual harassment. Ms. Hill testified that Clarence once said to her something about a public hair in a glass of cola. Hatch then produced a similar line in William Blatty’s 1971 novel “The Exorcist.” Ah HA! And a moron says what? (okay. I made that up).

Again, everyone knows Senator Hatch is just a partisan hack. During the Iran-Contra hearings, columnist Art Buchwald wrote that the best time to go to the toilet was when Senator Hatch was questioning Oliver North.








C. Arlen Spector

I KNOW this is Phil and not Arlen, and that
I've used this pic before...but, oh that hair
....and to wear it like that to court. His
poor lawyer.

While not an obvious choice, he clearly is a sentimental favorite of mine as a lying hypocritical fucking son of a bitch bastard--not to mention immoral, mainly for Spector’s antics during the Clarence hearings. Just my personal opinion, but I doubt that Clarence would have been confirmed, but for the particularly vicious and insulting attacks that Spector directed at Ms. Hill (although the incompetent way that Senator Biden ran the hearing probably helped even more). 

Some might criticize Senator Spector for his authorship of the “magic bullet” theory in the Kennedy assassination (as Oliver Stone did in the film JFK). I am not one of them. I went to the film JFK like Fox “I Want to Believe” Mulder—only to find myself saying “oh oh” a lot. I just couldn't believe. Intrigued, I read Gerald Posner’s “Case Closed,” and found the book convincing. So, I’m giving Spector a clean bill of health for his work on the Warren Commission.

Spector also behaved appropriately (if not admirably) in going after Alberto Gonzales’s repeated assertions that nothing inappropriate happened under Gonzales’s watch—followed by Gonzales insisting he had no memory of the events he (Gonzales) was vouching for.

Still—given Spector’s abominable actions in favor of Clarence, and his general all around greasy opportunism, he qualifies for the list. Which brings us to…

Alberto Gonzales. He probably read
Jimmy Carter's book "Why Not the Best?"
upside down, so Gonzales became
determined to do the opposite of Carter's
recommendations.

D. Alberto Gonzales

I’ve written on George W. Bush’s friend “Al” elsewhere, how under the Gonzales watch, people longed for the morally upright and principled leadership that John Mitchell brought to Nixon’s Department of Justice. Alberto Gonzales was such an abomination, that (in my personal opinion) insufficient anger at the first Hispanic attorney general is disrespectful to the Latino community as a whole.







E. Samuel Pierce

Ms. Tina Louise (of Gilligan's island fame).
This is a still from the film "Armoured
Command" (I am not making that up).

Sammy’s name is not as familiar as it once was, with him having died in 2000. But back in the day, he was Reagan’s Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, and by many accounts being groomed to replace an ailing Thurgood Marshall on the Supreme Court. But while Justice Marshall could not hang on long enough to keep Clarence off the court, we all know that Justice Marshall is now in secular humanist heaven for keeping Sam Pierce off the Court (plus for writing World Wide Volkswagon, and a few other things). How good a HUD Secretary was Pierce? He was the only member of Reagan’s cabinet to serve the whole of both terms, and under Pierce’s watch HUD appropriations for low-income housing were cut by nearly half and funding all but ended for new housing construction, cited from the Wikipedia article on Pierce.

But you know Reagan appreciated his guy—kind of. At a June 1981 luncheon of Mayors in Washington DC, Reagan thought Pierce was one of the mayors, and greeted him “Hello Mr. Mayor.” I hate when that happens. After Pierce left office, an independent counsel found Pierce’s HUD riddled with corruption, and several of Pierce’s lieutenants wound up doing time. Pierce himself managed to dodge the bullet, though—although when called to testify, Pierce invoked the fifth amendment to protect himself against self-incrimination, becoming the first cabinet member to do so since the Teapot Dome Scandal.

Jean Kirkpatrick. "Better dead than
nationally sovereign--no wait, that didn't
come out right....."

F. Jean Kirkpatrick

An old cold warrior hypocrite, renowned for her insane delusions about communism and her defense of fascism. She wins special notice for her particularly despicable actions during the genocidal wars in Guatemala, Nicaragua, El Salvador, and Honduras (she was on the “genocide” side). Jean was also a vocal supporter of what she called “authoritarian regimes,” which while brutally repressive, still clung to traditional family values (I am not making that up). One time after she wrote some stupid article or made some idiotic speech about the military dictatorship in Argentina, Jacobo Timerman (himself a victim of torture and the author of “Prisoner without a Name, Cell without a Number”) responded by how the Argentine military respected family values by torturing families together, in full view of each other’s misery.



G. Henry Kissinger

If you have to ask, nothing I can tell you will matter. Let’s just say that I believe the existence of Don King, Henry Kissinger, and George Steinbrenner is unanswerable proof as of the non-existence of an omnipotent, just god.

Just say no to Baby Jesus--and YES to 
Aquarius!

H. Nancy Reagan

Another personal favorite, despite the fact I am in awe of her ability to be the darling of religious fundamentalists AND at the same time an ardent disciple of astrology. 

But Nancy gets special consideration for being the poster child of a drug campaign unprecedented in its idiocy and irresponsibility. “Just Say No” became the Reagan administration’s “solution” to the drug crisis, featuring a smiling picture of Nancy. Why? Because pictures of Nancy were lots cheaper than say TREATMENT PROGRAMS (which were slashed under Reagan’s watch). The hypocrisy went even further. While preaching the “War on Drugs" out of one side of its mouth, the Reagan administration out the other mouth side was slashing funds targeted at drug enforcement and interdiction. Not that the latter mattered, as the film “Traffic” correctly pointed out: even if the drug cartels had as much as 80% of their dope seized, they’d still be making a whale of a profit.

I know this is Jane Russell and not Katherine
Harris. But did you really want to see
another picture of Katherine Harris? I
didn't.

I. Katherine Harris

Secretary of State for Florida in 2000, and also co-chair to George W. Bush for President (Florida) Committee. No conflict of interest there. I would argue she was probably the single most responsible person for making sure that George W. Bush was awarded Florida’s delegate votes in the electoral college (and the Presidency), despite the fact that by any measure, more people in Florida voted for Al Gore.

J. Full House (the television show)

I can’t help it—I just really, really hate that show. I try to explain why here....But not very successfully.

K. Ken Starr, Henry Hyde, Jim Sensenbrenner, Bill Collum, George Gekas, Charles Canady, Steve Buyer, Ed Bryant, Steve Chabot, Bob Barr, Asa Hutchinson, Chris Cannon, James Rogan, Lindsey Graham, and Ken Starr

I'd have a crack here about the hypocrisy
of fundamentalists--like Opus Dei--but
I think I'll just let it slide

The GOP House managers who prosecuted the fiasco known as the impeachment of President Clinton for invading a fellow member nation of the UN with cooked data on WMD and faked connections with international terrorists—no wait, it was that other thing.

Ken Starr gets mentioned twice for being twice the bastard.

L. Pierce Butler, Willis Van Devanter, George Sutherland, and James McReynolds

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—OLD SCHOOL!

M. Antonin “Fat Tony” Scalia, Clarence “Long Dong” Thomas, John “Tiberius—I WISH” Roberts, Samuel “Little Fat Tony” Alito

The new Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—but they try harder!



Well? How’s that? Enough proof to show that I hate lots of people for lots of reasons?

“Bill, I'm sorry, but I agree with [an idiot who will go nameless, just because Bill prefers it that way] that this is racist stuff. Knock it off, or stay off my comment threads.”

Bummer. Well, there’s always Mitch McConnell, Buckley v. Valeo, Morse v. Fredrick, people who think they believe strongly in the ten commandments without knowing them or the fact there is no agreement as to what they are, disco, mushy over-cooked brussel sprouts…..

I better get busy; I’ve got a lot of playa hating to do. 

I Hate These People.

Faking Left
A NY Times Editorial by Ross Douthat, May 11, 2009

Mr. Huey Freeman. He may be short. He may hate everything. But he is the voice of socialism for the 21st century.

"Among their many aspirations for his presidency, Barack Obama’s admirers nurse a persistent hope that he might be able to end the culture wars. And by end, they generally mean win. The real hope is a final victory for cultural liberalism, and social conservatism’s permanent eclipse."
Mr. Ross Douthat

Mr. Ross Douthat. Would you buy a used
car from this man?

My god, I hate those people. I really do. I am sick half unto death of listening to "conservatives" arguing about the so-called "cultural wars." 

Right now--look me in the eyeball, and tell me if I am a proponent of "cultural liberalism" or "social conservatism," based on the following criteria:

1) I will never, ever enter a same sex marriage;
2) I will never, ever have an abortion;
3) I would never, ever prohibit a kid from praying to Baal--even if the kid is in a public school;
4) Right now, I can't imagine ever using illegal street drugs.

Give up? Well, here you go: I am a monster, hawk conservative in the culture wars. How so? Just because while I wouldn't buy weed off the street, pray to Baal, have an abortion, or marry my fellow man (sic), I do not want the STATE telling me that I can't do any of those things--just in case I change my mind.

Maybe I am kidding, just a little. But how on earth can the Mr. Douthats of the world--in good conscience--claim that believers in "cultural liberalism" are forcing their values on anyone? Has any proponent of same-sex marriage ever insisted that the power of the state should be used to keep people who want to marry someone of the opposite sex from getting married? Is Mr. Douthat truly afraid that if he moves to Maine, Vermont, Iowa, Massachusetts, or Connecticut, some burly policeman in ass-less chaps is going to make him marry a guy? Just who, Mr. Douthat, is advocating for Big Government's use of the police power to regulate personal behavior?

Ms. Anita Ekburg. When you're as preachy
and annoying as I am, you really need
the big guns......

So--you don't want to belong to a church that "marries" same sex couples? Then find a church that won't marry gay and lesbian couples. But why do you insist on telling all churches--even the churches you would never go to--they can't marry gay and lesbian couples?

As a "liberal," what is the "prayer in public schools" that gets me crazy? The kid in the back of the class who whispers "Oh holy sweet baby jesus mary mother of god, I know I spent all night playing 'Grand Theft Auto--Iowa City' instead of studying, but PLEASE let at least enough answers be 'c' for me to pass........"? Absolutely not--not studying a lick and hoping for a miracle is protected under the free exercise clause of the first amendment. No, what gets me crazy is when the State in the form of the the school administration announces that *everyone* will pray to the Cowboy Buddha, regardless of personal feelings or belief. That is a violation of the first amendment's establishment clause.

Why do "conservatives" still advocate for prayer in public schools? Either the prayer is some idiot like me trying to explain why THERE IS NO GOD BUT TELEVISION--AND GILLIGAN IS HER MESSENGER!....or the most bland, mealy mouthed, innocuous, barely a tribute to some vague form of a supreme being, all in a futile effort not to offend Christians, Jews, Latter Day Saints, Sunni and Shiites, Buddhists, Animists, Flying Spaghetti Monsterites--you get the idea. But what about atheists and the Jehovah Witness folks? Too late; they're already off to federal court.

Ms. Mae West. Only line in her first movie:
Coat check girl: Goodness! What
diamonds!
West: 'Goodness' didn't have anything to do
with it......
The rest is history.......

Back in the day--and I mean Eisenhower's day--the issue of prayer in the public school was important, because 'MERICA was fighting the godless (sic) Soviet Union on all fronts, and being "...one nation under God (read: Baby Jesus)..." was just one more front in a running fake war. 

Jumping from Ike to today's hip hop happening groovy cats from Nowsville, unless you are Sarah Palin or have an IQ that's barely in the upper two digits (there may be some overlap there), the American public school system is not going to be a forum for advocating the divine nature of Jesus of Nazareth, explicitly or implicitly. That is just not going to happen--and not because of those commie atheistic homos over at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), but because the Jehovah Witness lawyers all have "Been There. Done That. Got the T-Shirt" bumper stickers on their cars. The J.W. attorneys--they don't even say "Bring it" any more, because they'll hand you your ass back before you even know it's missing.

But then...there is abortion. As Mr. Douthat says "The pro-life movement is arguably more comfortable with the language of rights and liberties than its opponents. Abortion foes are defending a right to life grounded in the Declaration of Independence, after all, whereas pro-choicers are defending more nebulous rights (privacy, autonomy, etc.) supposedly grounded in “penumbras” and “emanations” from the Constitution. And a moron says 'What?'" 

Okay. I made up that last part. But since when is the "right to life" grounded in the Declaration of Independence? Back to school, Douthat. First, the Declaration of Independence is a great piece of work--really groovy--but it is NOT a governing document. Second, maybe you COULD argue that "all men (sic) are created equal" is extended to fetuses (fetusi?) if you're a complete ahistorical idiot, but even said idiot could not argue that back in the day, "all men" included women, slaves, and men who did not own property. So...'splain it to me, Ricky: how are pro-life people arguably more comfortable defending the right and liberty of a fetus--and yet that same right and liberty expressly did not include women or people of color? (if you're thinking "Because pro-life people are stupid?", that was my guess as well...but I don't think that's the answer Mr. Douthat is looking for).

Ms. Jean Harlow. When you're desperate,
always go for Ms. Harlow; you won't be
sorry. That's a tip, kids.

"Penumbras"? "Emanations"? When was the last time Mr. Douthat read Roe v. Wade? Here's a clue for you: the majority opinion was NOT WRITTEN BY WILLIAM DOUGLAS! Justice Blackmun's opinion may not be a real prize winner, but he is clear what right is being protected: an individual's (cough cough) right to have a relationship with that individual's (ahem) doctor, free of state intervention, absent a compelling interest by the state. What's a compelling interest of the state? If my doctor and I decide that I should use heroin, because kicks just keep getting harder to find--too bad for me. But if my doctor and I decide that I should have an abortion in the first trimester of my pregnancy, then you can get the hell out of my face Ross Douthat. In the immortal words of Gene Autry (and my doctor): "Ain't nobody's business but my own."

In a word, I don't know anyone in the pro-choice movement who is in the least bit uncomfortable with the language of rights and liberties. Just ask them.

Let me be blunt (fine--"blunter"): abortion will always be legal in an industrial society with any semblance of a free press. How do I know this? Wait till about a dozen young, skinny white girls (with the emphasis on white, skinny, young, and white) bleed to death after a back ally abortion, and then see how long your abortion ban lasts. Anyone who talks about abortion as a political issue is either a religious partisan or a greasy opportunist (there may also be some overlap in those groups).

Representative Ron Paul. See? It doesn't
only suck to be me...it sucks to be lots of 
people!

So, in these "culture wars," where are all the libertarians, who are always screaming about how the government that governs best governs least? I'll tell you where: in back of the hall, sitting next to the poor socialists. Republican opportunists dust off the libertarians for economic issues, then dump 'em in the ally when they're through--just like the Democrats do with the environmental radicals, labor partisans, and misc. bleeding hearts..............

So for all you libertarians out there, you Ron Paul Revolution cadres--you may start to take heart when you hear the Olympia Snowes of the world start talking about "maximum individual liberty." But you know they're just lying to you; this is still the Republican Party of the people who complain bitterly about "big government"--and in the same breath demand more on the war on drugs, Department of Fatherla...OOPS! Homeland Security, and a bazillion different laws regulating personal behavior.

But to address Mr. Douthat's larger point--when the Democratic Party starts talking about single payer universal health care.....Now, you KNOW they're not lying about that. No, not now....Not to my face....Never!